SEPTEMBER 30, 2011

TOASTMASTERS CLUB 1841

AREA 50 <> DIVISION E <> DISTRICT 84

FRIDAY <> SEPTEMBER 30, 2011
KISSIMMEE UTILITY AUTHORITY

1701 WEST CARROLL STREET

KISSIMMEE, FLORIDA   34741

CALL TO ORDER:   RON SZASZ

********

INSPIRATION AND PLEDGE – GWEN FIX

“Words fitly spoken are like apples of gold.”

NEGATIVE WORDS DESTROY; POSITIVE WORDS BUILD

PROVERBS 25:11

 

********

PRESIDENT’S REPORT – HEATHER SZASZ, CC

GUESTS:  NONE 

 

********

TOASTMASTER OF THE DAY – NEIL ALLEN

THEME:

“CONFUSION”

 

WORD OF THE WEEK- JERIMAIH FIX

“CHAOS”

Confusing circumstances…

*******

FIRST SPEAKER –HEATHER SZASZ

SPEECH # 4 – 5-7 MINUTES – A DRAMATIC TALK

ENTERTAINING SPEAKER MANUAL

“GONE IN A SECOND”

“GONE IN A SECOND”… SCREAM!  I come around in an ambulance and I have no idea why and Ron tells me that we’ve been in a car accident.  We were visiting friends for dinner and returning home when we had to swerve to miss a dog, causing the accident.  I was in tremendous pain as they wheeled me into the hospital.  I was begging for pain killers.  They gave me something to drink before hauling me off to x-ray on a trolley.  Those floors are not even; bumps everywhere.  When the x-ray came back, the doctors said they were “choppy.”  They told me they would need a plastic surgeon because of damage to my scalp and road rash on my arm because I was actually been thrown from the vehicle.  My x-husband and daughter arrived to see me.  I thought I had died and gone to heaven.  Here both of the men in my life stood telling me they loved me.  The pain was the worst I’ve ever experienced.  They literally put needles in my head but they did not work so they had to do the entire procedure all over again.  I couldn’t lift my head off a pillow for the next three months without excruciating pain.  Isn’t it amazing… you can be here one minute and gone the next!

 

SECOND SPEAKER – FRED MOORE

5-7 MINUTES – MAKE THEM LAUGH

SPEECH 3– ENTERTAINING SPEAKER MANUAL

 “UN-PRACTICAL JOKES”

 

“UN-PRACTICAL JOKES”…  What is a practical joke?  What makes a joke practical?  Webster’s Dictionary defines it as a joke on a victim.  Sometimes they have consequences.  I used to work at the Hard Rock Café and joked around with a fellow female worker, Debbie Lynn.  We would pinch each other on the butt occasionally.  I pinched the wrong person one day but fortunately she did not take it seriously.    I once sent a letter to a friend with a pair of men’s underwear in them and his Drill Instructor had him open it in front of him.  They made him an example.  This little furry animal causes a reaction.  I use it in my show all the time and a lady actually threw a cup of coffee into her husband’s lap.    I had it in a restaurant and was told by the waiter “No live animals in a restaurant.”  No problem… I pretended to kill it and handed it to the waiter!

********

TIMER REPORT- GWEN FIX

BOTH SPEAKERS QUALIFIED

********

TABLE TOPICS –-RON SZASZ

Larry Mattern … My brother has what he calls the Mattern Sense where he can locate a vehicle anywhere.  He actually went up to someone else’s jeep and tried to open it.  When I lived in East Liverpool, we were riding in my brother’s car, a Gremlin, which did not have power locks.  Later I went to what I thought was the car, laid down in the back seat and nearly scared Kenny to death when I woke up after he got in the car to start it.  That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

 

Tony Morelli … I would be angry at myself if I was going to sit on a commode with the seat up.  My wife is always telling me that I don’t put the seat down though I continue to try to put the seat down.  It’s the person’s fault who is not looking.

 

Priscilla Villarreal … You’re in a restaurant and your neighbor’s food is placed in front of you and you accidentally started to eat the food.  Wow, this is chaos.  I would probably just send the food back.

 

Chris Hammock … I had a fancy Hornet in high school and was cruising down the road at 45 mph with my buddy and we’re chit-chatting.  My buddy has an attitude problem; he has about 15 tickets.  I’m moving along when a light changes and I slammed on the break.  I didn’t even wait for the policeman to pull me over.  The cop comes up to the car and says “You know you ran that red light.”  I told him, “Thank you for pointing that out to me.”  He actually let me go and my buddy was angry that I didn’t get a ticket.

 

Bill Cokeing… If I mistakenly opened a neighbor’s check that came in error to my mailbox, I am reminded about the stuff we used to do to our neighbors.  I would congratulate my neighbor on the nice check.  My brother and I were practical jokers.  When we were growing up, we got this great idea about dumping the oil out of an oil lamp.  When you turn an oil lamp that is lighted upside down, we alarmed all the neighbors.

 

TIMERS REPORT- GWEN FIX

EVERYONE QUALIFIED BUT PRISCILLA VILLARREAL (UNDER) AND CHRIS HAMMOCK (OVER).

BREAK TIME

MASTER EVALUATOR – MAIRA DURAN

EVALUATING HEATHER SZASZ – HARRY FIX

 

Heather’s presentation this morning was fantastic.  She was to do a dramatic talk out of the Entertaining Speaker Manual.  Her objective today was to develop a dramatic talk with characters in an entertaining manner.  You told a story you had actually experience.  Heather has been there so the story has a terrific advantage along with her British accent, which lends it credibility.  You drew us in with a dramatic talk and great facial expressions.  I loved the intro where you and Ron reenacted the accident in which you were injured.  You did a great job with your vocal variety but you might want to add some dramatic movement to your body language.  Your presentation concluded rather abruptly which led me to believe that you might have been running short on time.  Plan that a bit better and you have a terrific presentation!

 

EVALUATING FRED MOORE – LARRY MATTERN

Fred’s presentation this morning was titled “Un-Practical Jokes” a humorous speech out of the entertaining speaker manual.  The best speech to give is one about your personal experiences, which are the very best.  We each have a wealth of stories from chaotic ones to humorous ones.  At the very beginning, you spoke very fast.  I could tell when you actually got “into your act.”  It was obvious because the feedback was there.  You are an expert with the use of props.  You are an excellent entertainer.  I couldn’t ask for more!  I was ready to pay admission to hear you.  Your vocal variety and the use of the stage were superb.  You gave us a terrific lift for our Friday morning!

TIMERS REPORT- GWEN FIX

BOTH EVALUATORS QUALIFIED

AH / GRAMMARIAN – CHRIS HAMMOCK

So’s… Ron, Tony, Neil

Ah’s… Ron, Heather, Bill, Chris, Larry, Priscilla

But, but, but… Harry, Tony, Larry

Uhm’s…Maira

You Know’s… None

 

********

 

WORD REPORT – GWEN FIX

“CHAOS”

Fred, Ron, Priscilla, Larry, Maira, H Heather, Chris (2), Bill (2) all used the word for the day.

 

********

 

JOKE-MASTER- MAIRA DURAN

CHRIS ROCK:

WHEN YOU DIE AT THE AGE OF 72, IT’S STILL OF NATURAL CAUSES.

 

CLOSING AWARDS – HEATHER SZASZ, CC

TABLE TOPICS WINNER: BILL COKEING

BEST EVALUATOR: HARRY FIX

UPCOMING EVENTS

 

NEXT WEEK’S THEME:  ROAD’S TRAVELED

TOASTMASTER:  LARRY MATTERN