JULY 29, 2011

TOASTMASTERS CLUB 1841

AREA 50 <> DIVISION E <>  DISTRICT 84

FRIDAY <> JULY 29, 2011

KISSIMMEE UTILITY AUTHORITY

CALL TO ORDER: RON SZASZ

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INSPIRATION AND PLEDGE – MORE RON SZASZ

“Most of the shadows of this life are caused by our standing
in our own sunshine.”

RALPH WALDO EMERSON

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PRESIDENT’S REPORT – HEATHER SZASZ, CC

HUMOROUS SPEECH CONTEST – AUGUST 19 – SIGN UP TODAY,

 HARRY FIX, CHAIR

WELCOME GUESTS:

BILL COKEING trecfl1@gmail.com

15 PEOPLE IN ATTENDANCE TODAY

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TOASTMASTER OF THE DAY – LARRY MATTERN

THEME:

“PAST AND PRESENT”

WORD OF THE WEEK-  

“ANTIQUITIES”

MARY LEE IS OUR LIVING ANTIQUITY

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FIRST SPEAKER – HEATHER SZASZ

SPEECH #  3 – 5-7
MINUTES

COMPETENT COMMUNICATOR MANUAL (GET TO THE POINT)

“RELAX OR DROWN”

“RELAX OR DROWN”… Scuba diving is a very interesting activity.  I learned to scuba dive in the deep end of a pool.  The bouncy jacket is something you can blow up when you have no air in your tank.  The jacket is designed to help you remain afloat.  I actually panicked when I couldn’t get my jacket to inflate.  When I was 8 years old and living in England, I fell into a cold pond in very heavy coat and I was drowning.  That was what I
had to overcome when I learned to scuba dive.

That fear was on my mind when I tried and couldn’t get my jacket to inflate.  Our next level of training was in the ocean, not a pool.  We had to go 60 feet down… and the whole world is spinning because I get vertigo.  I couldn’t believe it!  I had only tried this twice and both times I failed.  I didn’t want to give up but I didn’t want to experience vertigo again.

But I tried it again, utilizing a guide rope.  I qualified with my second dive.  What an amazing experience!  In life, we tend to drown in our own “crap” like I almost drown.  But life gives you a second chance… do you take advantage of it?  I was teaching a class recently and we didn’t have enough to put the class on.  I didn’t panic; I simply rescheduled the class for next Tuesday and the enrollment will be even greater.  Do you panic when you are faced with the “crap?”  I hope not.

SECOND SPEAKER – MARY LEE GILL, ATMG

7-9 MINUTES

SPEECH 2– ENTERTAINING SPEAKER MANUAL

 “WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE”

 

“WHAT I KNOW FOR SURE”….  This morning I’m going to share with you some facts of life… what I know for sure.  As I’ve walked down this winding road, I’ve noticed many things.  Two weeks ago I was in the dress department at Dillard’s, strutting around in a dress I was trying on.  I took one look in the mirror and there was this old broad in a hot pink outfit who thinks she’s still middle aged.  I’m not!

I got this gift from my daughter that is a mirror that magnifies you seven times, which is one more reason I hate my daughter.  This is why they invented Prozac.  If you’re going to buy a magnifying mirror, take your glasses off and drink a daiquiri or a fuzzy naval… then look.  I’m no longer middle age; I’m a little old lady, that I know for sure!  My dentist looks like a junior high student.  The worst thing that happens to me was when I got pulled by something that looked like a police car, but the guy that got out looked like a toddler in a uniform.  “Do you know how fast you were going?” he asked.  My speedometer said 92; what did you get?  My radar detector wasn’t exactly working, to which he replied, “Do I smell alcohol?”  Yes, I’m wearing Jim Beam Miracle, new
cologne.  I then asked him if I smelled “Krispy Kreme” on your breath.  In the book “The Road Less Traveled” the first three words are “Life is difficult.”  If I had my own words, they would say “Life isn’t fair.”  Always take the high road.  Why do some people thing
others have been given?  It may be that they are living the best life they’ve been given.  You don’t know what problems people have.  Success in life is not having everything you want; it’s in wanting everything you have.  What I know for sure is you are looking at
one of the richest, happiest little old ladies in the world!

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TIMER REPORT- RON SZASZ

BOTH SPEAKERS QUALIFIED

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TABLE TOPICS – MARY GUIDONE

Harry Fix …  My television show theme song would be “It’s a Wonderful Life” because as Mary Lee said, it’s so often our outlook and how we look at things.
I have had a wonderful life.  I was an only child for ten years until a brother and sister came along and finally took my parents attention away.   At age 16, I met my wife-to-be and the life continues to be wonderful.

Myra Duran …  If I could hang out with a celebrity for a day, I would hang out with Betty Davis, an old actress.  The Kardasians are so stupid.  They have no brains.  Brittany Spears forgets what’s she’s doing.  I like Jennifer Lopez but her butt is always in the way.  I like Meryl Street.  She’s a person I could hang out with.  I wish I could look as good as
Raquel Welch.  I’d like to hang out with her.

Michael Aun …  blah, blah, blah.

Charlie Tiffany … The Antiques Road show… I was involved in an auction.  The only bid I got for a vase was 37 cents.  The only bid?  That bid was for you, not the vase.  On March 17, 2009, my wife was working one day a week at the Health Department.  We
received a CD with instructions not to open it until that afternoon.  I opened it up and there was a modern pre-natal ultra sound photos of my granddaughter.  I pulled up to someone and rolled my window down and told my neighbor, “Eat your heart out; I’m going to be a grandfather!”

Jerry Testa …  The television shows could all be watched because there were only a couple… Howdy Duty and some others.  I wish they had O’Reilly.  I like to watch him.  Going back 60 years, you only had three stations.  Today, I get embarrassed.  The reality shows are different.  As I approach antiquity, I don’t regret it as I look at some of today’s TV shows.

Bill Cokeing …  Commercials during the Super Bowl… in my old age, the antiquity is coming down around me because I don’t like commercials or television.   When they come on, I mute them immediately.  When the commercial comes on, they turn up
the volume.  Some of the things I see on the commercials… well, I’m not a commercial fan.  (What’s the green light mean?)  Oh, I can stop now.

Ron Szasz …  my favorite item on sale on television is from Ron Popile.
Popile’s pocket fisherman; I love the ways they sell to us gullible public.  Saturday Night Live did a script with Jim Bellushi.  The Popile Pocket Fisherman guy comes in and makes the pitch to Bellushi and his buddies.

Latoyia Stallworth …  Beside watching television, in our family we like to go to the mall or play basketball or visit people.  Occasionally, we’ll sit down and have a heart-to-heart discussion.  The kids watch a lot of garbage, so I tell them to turn it off.  My life is pretty boring so we just do family oriented things.

Gwen Fix …  If I could rewind something in my life…. I don’t have much to rewind.  I don’t want to repeat my life over again.  Actually looking way back to my antiquities, I would go back to a classroom where I would be cracking jokes and making others laugh.

TIMERS REPORT- RON SZASZ

ALL TABLE TOPICS PARTICIPANTS
QUALIFIED

BREAK TIME

MASTER EVALUATOR – TONY MORELLI

EVALUATING HEATHER SZASZ – NEIL ALLEN, ACS

Heather’s presentation today was about “getting to the point.”  This is
your second go around on this discipline.  You were working on a presentation that was entertaining but informative.  That’s my favorite type of presentation is entertaining information.   You got right into it by having a conversation with your daughter.  You spoke about scuba diving.  I could see you on the bottom of the pool taking off the equipment.  I could see you trying to inflate your vest.  You were very visual with your words, drawing word pictures.  Your humor was self-deprecating.   I liked that you boiled it down to a central theme and you used it in a way we could relate to in our own life. 

EVALUATING MARY LEE GILL – NANCY STREET, ACS

Mary Lee’s presentation today was delightful.  You was to inspire us relying heavily on emotional appeal, but I suggest she relied more on her humor.  Mary Lee appealed to our feelings and our needs by giving us strong mental images.  “The kid who was a cop” is a perfect example.  On the negative side, you speak very softly sometimes and people who can’t hear that well simply cannot hear you.  That’s the most egregious mistake you make, but you still inspired me and helped me to look forward to what to expect when I arrive in antiquity.

TIMERS REPORT- RON SZASZ

BOTH EVALUATORS QUALIFIED

AH / GRAMMARIAN – LAYTOYIA STALLWORTH

Larry (1 um), Charlie (1 um), Mary
Lee (1 you know), Latoyia (1 like/ 1you know), Maira (1 um).

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WORD REPORT – GWEN FIX

“ANTIQUITIES”

Michael Aun, Tony Morelli, Mary Guidone, Harry Fix, Myra Duran, Charlie Tiffany, Jerry Testa, Bill Cokeing, Ron Szasz, Nancy Street used the word today.

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JOKE-MASTER- CHARLIE TIFFANY

CLOSING AWARDS – HEATHER SZASZ, CC

TABLE TOPICS WINNER:  BILL COKEING  

BEST EVALUATOR: NEIL & NANCY TIED   

UPCOMING EVENTS

NEXT WEEK’S SCHEDULE –
AUGUST 5, 2011

TOASTMASTER – MAIRA DURAN

SPEAKER – LARRY MATTERN

SPEAKER – HARRY FIX

MASTER EVALUATOR – FRED MOORE

EVALUATOR – GWEN FIX

EVALUATOR: MARIBEL URREA

TABLE TOPICS MASTER – MARY LEE GILL

AH COUNTER/GRAMMARIAN – ANNIE YAN

INSPIRATON/TIMER – SANDY GEROUX

WORD MASTER / LISTENER – TONY MORELLI

JOKE MASTER – DAVID MCKIM